Why is that we don’t do the things that we know will lead to success? In fact, some of us are experts at doing the exact opposite of what we know will make us healthier, happier and wealthier.
Want to lose weight? There’s a YouTube channel for that. Want a new career? There’s an online group that can show you the way. Even with the right tools and information just a keystroke away, success can remain out of reach.
As discussed in this month’s book, What to Say When You Talk to Your Self, the reason that we don’t always do the things that will make us more successful is because of a little thing called our feelings.
Where do our feelings come from?
“Every action we take is first filtered through our feelings,” writes Shad Helmstetter, author of What to Say. “How we feel about something will always determine or affect what we do and how well we do it.”
If you are feeling good about something, your actions will follow. If you are feeling bad about something, your actions will follow.
Feelings can be so powerful that we assume they are a permanent part of us. Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought, “well this is just the way I am.”
Feelings are powerful, but they are not permanent.
Our Feelings are Based in our Attitudes
Your attitude is the way you think or feel about something or someone. Your attitude, the perspective from which you view the world, determines how you feel about something or someone.
Our Attitudes are Based in our Beliefs
Attitudes don’t just fall from the sky and knock us on the head. If they did, I might get an attitude about that.
Our attitudes are “created, controlled, or influenced entirely by our: beliefs.”
“What we believe about anything will determine our attitudes about it, create our feelings, direct our actions, and in each instance, help us to do well or poorly, succeed or fail,” Helmstetter writes.
The funny thing about beliefs is that they impact us, whether those beliefs are true or not.
If I believe that I can lose the weight, get the job, learn the language, repair the car, I’ve got a much better chance of success than if I didn’t believe. For the record, I have no belief in my car repair abilities.
Our Beliefs are Based on our Programming
What we believe about ourselves and our abilities are a direct result of our programming.
Programming refers to all the tiny pieces of information that we receive on a constant basis. This programming tells us what to do, what to say, what we can and cannot achieve.
Some programming is obvious, like comments made directly to us (e.g., our parents tell us that it is not appropriate to sit on the table).
Some programming is not so obvious. It appears in the form of unspoken expectations from others, and thoughts we have about ourselves.
Programming is the root of all success–or failure.
How can we be more successful now?
Our actions, what we do or don’t do, directly impact success in every area of life.
We take action based on our feelings about something or someone.
Those sneaky little feelings are rooted in our attitudes, the perspective from which we view life.
Our attitudes are a direct result of our beliefs. Remember, our beliefs don’t have to be true to work for or against us.
Our beliefs, powerful as they may be, come straight down to our programming. Change your programming. You’ll change the game.
For me this means a regimen of positive self-talk, combined with something I call the Ugly Why (more on that later).
Old School Readers: What role do feelings play in success or failure? What are your tips and tricks for keeping a success mindset?
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